I rediscovered this guide I wrote for the Whirlpool broadband discussion forums wiki some time ago.  I can’t remember if I ever posted it to their wiki or not.  I’ll have to check.

What the poster says:
Is anyone experiencing slowness in tonight?

What the poster means:
My favourite web site/mp3/pr0n/warez loading/downloading times aren’t maxing out my connection and I think my ISP has a conspiracy to slow me down and not tell me / my ISP is crap and lying about the truth / I’m too lazy to use my brain and check for problems on my end and/or call the helpdesk.

What the poster asks:
Which ISP is best for unlimited?

What the poster really means:
Where can i find an ISP that will charge me next to nothing per month to happily download the internet to my computer without slowdown or penalty?

What the poster asks:
Why don’t have a plan that is $X cheaper with $X less download quota?

What the poster really means:
I still don’t understand that plan costs have nothing to do with quotas.

What the poster asks:
Why doesn’t have free PIPE/WAIX/state-to-state peering?

What the poster means:
I want to be able to download tons of movies/pr0n/music/warez from Usenet/other users without limit for free, why can’t I?

What the poster asks:
When is going to build a DSLAM in ?

What the poster means:
I want to be able to download the internet every month even faster than I am now, why aren’t you making ME happy first?

What the poster asks:
Which ISP has the best plan?

What the poster means:
Which ISP will let me leech the internet continuously without slowdowns, have the fastest game pings and still only cost $60/month?